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Life is a feeling, not an intellectual process. (Théun Mares)

We opened a self-developement Toltec jazz club just a few weeks ago and I have been hard at work, trying to get the club into the best shape. Although we already had an opening, there is still work to be done.


On last Friday we needed to finish installing the last bit of stage construction or what I thought, should be finished on Friday. We started preparing the room and walls for setting up last bit of the stage frame. We measured, we planned, we constructed, and had everything set up for final installation, the only thing we missed was enough men, because the last bit of frame had to be lifted, and it was heavy, like really heavy.


At this point I already felt this feeling inside me, this little "completion" feeling, but how could this be completed already if we hadn't finished the installation?


We had a small dinner break and looked at the installation, thinking about whether we had enough power to lift it up or not. We found one more guy and decided to try it - it was heavy and it was scary, we tried 3 times and the final bit didn't fit in. Now we decided to stop, since we ran out of breath and then we decided - OK, we will look at it on Monday again - then we will have more people to help us.


Later that evening I called Rein and explained the situation, feeling a bit guilty and saying "Hey you know, we didn't manage to get it up today, we need to try again on Monday". To which Rein said, "Oh my god you fools, that's what was supposed to happen - you prepare it Friday and we finish it Monday, when we have enough people and it is safe!"

Life is a feeling and the feeling was that when preparation was done that the task was now brought to completion for today. I just didn't manage to trust the feeling well enough and wanted to get to the completion that I had rationalized in my head. With my heart, Siim


​​​(The article is in Estonian.)

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