Overcoming doubts and fears

July 2022. Masterclass “The Mysteries of the Female.” By that time, I had read the book by the same title twice. I had plenty of information — more than enough — from the book and from the Masterclass. Some of it I could already call knowledge, because without realizing that I knew or practiced it, I had nevertheless been applying exactly those same concepts. Still, with most of the information, I was left wondering: But how do I actually do this? It was as if I had the formula, but how was I supposed to use the formula? How exactly do I bring A and B together in my life?

December 2025. Three and a half years have passed, and today I am preparing once again for the Masterclass “The Mysteries of the Female,” which will take place in February 2026. I have read the book at least three more times since the previous masterclass — and among other things, I have translated it into Estonian. Between the two masterclasses, I have overcome my fear of performing and being visible on many occasions; the criticism I have received in different situations has not broken me, and I have not died because of that — quite the opposite. I have even befriended some of my “flaws,” and I have learned to support rather than control (though I am still learning). So I could say that I have managed to turn quite a lot of the information from the previous masterclass into actual knowledge — meaning, I have tried it out in my life, and now I have the experience. Some formulas still need to be turned into knowledge, though.

This time, the challenge for me lies in putting the masterclass together and leading it. At the same time, I am presenting a book I have written - my first one. I can see doubts attacking me. Looking back in time, I cannot point to any major or extraordinary change in myself. Not that there has not been any. Losing faith in yourself is unbelievably easy and fast — you don’t even need any earth-shaking life events. Sometimes a seemingly small thing is enough. 

“Who am I to teach others or write a book?” I hear the question in my head. I try to have a conversation with myself and understand where these doubts come from. It doesn’t take much, and I find myself again up against the masks, norms, (pre)judgements, and fear. What will others think of me if…? The fear of looking stupid, being foolish, and making mistakes. And then the realization that none of that is actually true. Even if it is, that is exactly what makes me me, and the me that I am today already has value. I don’t need to be anything more than myself — flaws included (or what I think are flaws). Because in the end, everything is experience, and I will most likely not die from it. If anything, a part of my little Self might die — a part that perhaps should...

With warmth,

Anu