We must leave space for the dreams

The beginning of new year always feels like a time for dreaming — what do I want, what will the new year bring? Some dreams are big, others quite small, some are more like wishes that would be nice to see come true someday.

I have been dreaming about one thing. And now, years later, I am holding it (him) in my hands. Along the way, I repeatedly had to answer the question: why do I need this (him)? And that was good! Even though at times it felt annoying. But it made me stalk myself in order to gain clarity — why do I need and do I actually need this dream come true. Otherwise, how could I have answered those questions? Once, 12 years ago, I was already a centimetre away from the dream coming true — and then I gave up. I doubted. But the dream remained. It came back. It continued to live on in my thoughts. Yet if you only think about dreams, nothing happens. And nothing happens either when you doubt yourself — do I really need this…

One must dream — indeed, but one must leave space for the dreams. Because they, too, want to grow, to create themselves. By doubting ourselves and our dreams, by constantly questioning whether or how they could ever come true, we keep cancelling our dreams. And then the whole cycle begins from the start. /“This Elusive Femininity”/

Dreaming also requires action and stalking.

Since we all know that unfulfilled dreams are more than useless, we need to learn to dream in terms of a definite purpose. The reason for this is that all true knowledge can only arise out of practical experience. So, when we refer to dreaming, it is not airy-fairy thinking that is called for, but the dreaming in of action. But even with action, it is wise to bear in mind that action that does not go anywhere, or that does not yield some sort of dividend, is not only a waste of time, but also futile.  /“Unveil the Mystery of the Female”/

So I acted — both in the inner and in the outer world. How? In the outer world, I hunted for information, I did research, asked questions, and found contacts who shared their knowledge and experience; I shared my dream (read: stalked Rein), listened to reflections from my loved ones (Rein, my son, and my brother), and clarified for myself who or what my dream truly is and what ar the needs. In the inner world, I stalked myself, repeatedly, observing and trying to understand myself through this dream and the message it carried for me. Is it just a beautiful and romantic thought, or something deeper? Am I ready to pay the price (and not only a financial one)? What do I want to learn through this? I knew I needed the experience. But I also left space — I did not force it; I was ready for it to remain just a beautiful thought and never become reality.

On 15.01.2026, he moved in 🐾

From here on, the whole adventure is only just beginning - the hunt for power is on.

Please meet — Rufus Gulliver.

With warmth, Anu