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Pause - a challenge or a way to keep balance?

Updated: Jan 13, 2023

July has brought everything to pause, at least in Estonia. Weather is more tropical than nordic, averaging around 32 degrees. For Estonians, this means that thinking ability has got a severe hit and this also includes me. I have been starting to write this newsletter several times till my fingers overheat after a couple of sentences eventually coming to a full stop.

Here lies again a new type of challenge as in some ways things are very good, when you are in full stop or perhaps rather long pause then there is also no inertia that could drag you along in the old ways of operating. On the other hand, this also means that starting anything new is equally difficult since there is no momentum. The only working action seems to be to recharge the batteries and there is a lot of sun to help you on this one.

When people are pausing then it also decreases the coherence of moving in the same direction, so when someone does make a move then this can bring out new aspects. As everyone starts to move in their unique direction then groups of people will be refreshed with diversity but also fragmentation. Using the world as a guiding light we can see that it is difficult to spot tendencies in worldly news as there is such a diversity of different types of stories and events going on. Therefore I am skipping the part of referring to the news this time around.

What is the potential of a pause, a silence?

Firstly, you can choose a new direction and re-assess your motive for taking any action. If we are busy and running by our tasklist then you do not need much of a motive to take action as the momentum does the work for you. While momentum is economical, it is also possible to be going in circles and repeating experiences that are already past their sell-by date.

Now depending on whether you need to assess the situation in the context of known or unknown, you might benefit from different strategies related to pausing. When working with known information the stable situation is the best, where there are a minimum number of moving parts. In this case, finding a quiet time and space might be beneficial as you will be using your mind primarily. Should you need additional pieces of the unknown in your process then silence is also a doorway to a dreaming world, a world of unknown. In dreaming you will be using your feelings mostly.

Since feelings need action that would spark them off then when you have come to a full stop, you might also find yourself quite empty of feelings as well. Having come to a full stop for a longer period makes it more challenging to start something completely new as the new will be locked in unknown. To access the unknown you would need feelings but feelings also require action. Therefore too much pause can cause a sense of confusion in us.

However, when you are busy working on your dream and then from time to time pausing to listen to the feelings can bring good results due to the inertia effect. Similarly, when you spin yourself tens of times and then stop, your world will keep moving around you for a while. This relative feeling of movement is enough for us to sense the feelings about what we are busy doing. Pausing and becoming quiet to detect the feeling but still having the momentum of busi-ness can be a great navigation tool. A good question to ask - is this still the right direction for me or do I need to course correct?

Challenging to keep balance

One of the side effects of pausing is that it can affect the balance in your relationships. It is always much easier to keep balance when you are moving. This we all know from riding the bicycle. While pedaling we are in balance quite naturally, while coming to stop it becomes an art not to fall over. How does this affect the balance in relationships in terms of give and take?

It is not difficult to find experiences in your life when you have time then it tends to fill up quite easily by activities that are initiated by others. Someone coming to visit you, or calling for helping hand in garden works, or request to write an article or just a call to ask you something. Giving seems to come more naturally as you have the resources to respond to all kinds of asks fired at you.

But giving, without taking, is a road to off-balance in the given relationship. Why is it difficult to take when pausing? When we are in pause then at that particular moment we are not in need of anything. Hence the desire that essentially is the impulse to want something, is also quiet.

If you do not want something then you are not able to take it either, even if someone really wants to give it to you. Not wanting, ie. not desiring opens another kind of trap for us. If we do not want, but we are given then we still end up taking, but we end up taking for granted. That means that we are not able to appreciate something without a proper desire.

Taking any of your relationships for granted brings in familiarity and the respect goes out of the window. In conclusion, when we have stopped and if we do not choose to be wide awake and cultivate desire to take from that life then it is easier to start taking life around us for granted.

If we take less then we also end up being a victim in that relationship. And not necessarily because we have not been given but because we lack the motive to take.

Giving yourself guidance:

  1. What is your relationship with pausing at the moment? Are you pausing? Or are you already at a standstill for too long? Or are you in need of a pause?

  2. If you pause then what feelings can you register? Were you moving in the right direction or do you need to course-correct?

  3. What is the give and take the balance in your relationships? Are you needy or are you lacking the motivation to take?

  4. Do you detect any relationships where you are currently not taking and hence might be taking for granted?

  5. What can you take or give to restore the balance in relationships that are in need of balancing?

The aim of this newsletter is to share some ideas on how to work with yourself by using the news and world around you as your guide and guiding yourself through valid questions. My take on the news of July is that this time around it gives mixed messages and hence this is also what happens when we slow down our sailing boat until the steering wheel stops responding and the boat can take any random direction dictated by the wind.

But what is a valid question? You need to be able to answer it and by answering it needs to guide you to new knowledge about yourself either directly or indirectly.

Take care, then Life can give!


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