October newsletter: Do we have a choice?

Updated: Dec 13, 2021



October in Estonia is coming in full colors and although it has a peculiar autumnally feeling it still gives you an opportunity to pause and see the beautiful side of life. It is weird to think that on the other side of the globe there is spring and nature is picking up its amazing drive to express beauty in growing and blossoming.


A few days ago I was watching dust particles moving in the sunlight. They were barely visible and I had to put some effort into seeing them. Firstly I noticed that they are falling down but after some time I started to see the ones that are moving upwards. Then interestingly I could either choose whether I see the ones who are moving up or the ones moving down but I could not see them moving in both directions at the same time.


Who puts me on either the spring side of the globe or autumn side? Who decides whether my focus is on falling dust particles or raising ones?


“The trick is in where we choose to place the focus. We make ourselves strong and joyful, or weak and miserable, yet in both instances, the amount of effort is the same.” Théun Mares.


Who in his right mind would choose to become weak and miserable? No one would admit that they would make such a choice. From there the logical conclusion would be that you are not the one making the choice! Now an even better question is why would I not want to be the one who makes that choice?

Choosing takes personal power

If you do not have enough personal power then you will not be able to make the decision, to pick the choice. This will be done for you and if by no one else then by yourself - your default action will execute itself. This is also what is called a re-action.


An action without your choice becomes a reaction. In psychology, it is said that you are mostly run by your subconscious. That is the part of you that you cannot bring yet to your full awareness.

We have been led to believe that we have freedom of choice but we have now looked upon it and indeed you might be free to decide in case you have enough personal power to do it. To test how much personal power you have you can keep track during the day in how many situations you feel strong and joyful. Or do you see yourself complaining instead? Watch your language and try to become aware of all the cases where you express that something is as it is because it was not your decision, your choice. I am specifically saying that “try to be aware” as being aware of what we speak requires personal power. And again if not enough then you are not aware of the implications of your words either. You know this if you have ever tried to catch and not to use parasite words. Do you know your parasite words?



Energy crisis in Europe

As you might have heard, we are in a deficit of natural resources to produce energy that is more climate-friendly. Energy is very closely related to power and as the outer world is the expression of the inner world and vice versa then it is not difficult to see that on a personal level European (and perhaps soon global) energy crisis is a reflection of our own lack of personal power. Quick test question: did you choose to triple your heating bill for this winter? Let me know if you managed to reply yes and how you were able to perceive your situation from such a perspective.


From another perspective, we have been given the challenge to see if you can make your own choice about how you respond to the pandemic. Can you make the choice of vaccination? Can you make the choice of traveling or self-isolation or distancing yourself?


Who can choose to save the world? How easily do we give that power to people with the power of money or politics or Ph.D. degree?


How to increase your freedom

The easiest way to start is again paying attention to the words you are using. Notice when you say you have to do something as this implies you do not have a choice. Instead, you can say I choose to or I want to because xyz. Watch out for the phrase I cannot. Replace it with I do not want to. If you are asked something and you say I do not know, you are giving away your power. Instead, you can say I choose not to know at the moment.


I know that it sounds merely a play of words but words are powerful. They make up your thoughts and your thoughts influence your perception. Eventually, the only way to have full power over your life comes from the skillful handling of your perception.


It is true that we cannot choose whether tomorrow will be raining or not, what restrictions will be set by the government but it really does not matter. What matters is if you can materialize your full potential and fulfill your dreams.


Potential can only be brought out where there is friction or any type of anti-force. Try to exercise your muscles while there is no gravity! That is why living on this planet is full of friction and different kinds of forces that bring all sorts of obstacles. You yourself are also full of friction and inertia. Excellent situation!


We are dreamers

We are supposed to fulfill our dreams, to dream them into reality. So the only thing that matters is if you are able to do that or even if you are able to put effort towards materializing your dreams. So if we cannot choose the weather, our parents, or laws then the most important means by which we can achieve our dreams is working with our perception. We can choose to perceive any situation in a way that will take us one step closer to our dreams.


If you want more freedom then you need to start working on increasing your freedom of choice over your perception. It is no coincidence that personal power is the product of your perception. The more you are able to perceive, that is to change your perception, the more personal power you will have to flow with any situation in your life and fulfill your dreams.


Shifting focus

If you find yourself in a situation where you are not happy with how things are then try to shift your focus. That is another way of saying - change your perspective, change your perception. Shift your focus to see opportunities rather than obstacles. But be aware of the danger in this technique. Like every sword has two edges, so has this tool. You can cut for the positive or you can cut for the negative.



The negative use is shifting your perception in order to escape your challenges. Or to build up defenses. If you find yourself changing perspectives but you do not get closer to your dreams, to your path with a heart, then it means you are using this tool against you. If you have true friends around then ask them as it is easy to see defenses and escapism in others rather than in yourself. A true friend means someone who speaks his/her truth regardless of what outcomes it brings to him/her.


“The Warrior is a happy being because he chooses to be happy, rather than talking to himself about what will make him happy. Because he chooses to be happy he looks at things in a way that makes him happy; and by looking at the world in this way he sees the funny side of things, which makes him laugh. One must always choose the Path with a Heart so that one can bring forth the best in oneself, even if this is only to be able to laugh.” Théun Mares.


Personal example

Yes, of course, I need to bring a personal example. Well, well… I am building a new home for myself and there is one obstacle after another. Prices are going crazy and to find builders is no task for the fainthearted. Since the building is not ready then I am currently writing this article in an old animal shed and my indoor temperature is 16 degrees.


To speed up the construction I was spending several hours per day working on different aspects of the project and doing some of the construction as well. This in its turn created quite a bit of stress as there is so much going on at .Contriber this autumn and really my attention is needed there. I could feel guilty for using my time and effort in such a way.


How to put power back inside me? Firstly, about the low temperature. 16 degrees? Yes, it's a positive number! Good that I bought myself drums so that I can pump my blood flowing when it gets too freezing :-) I choose to see my current living as an excellent driver to keep my focus on finishing the building.


Secondly, I still want to be hands-on with the process. I love construction but I do need to keep my focus on the path with the heart which is the work I am doing. I decided to reserve 2h per day for my new home but not to plan what I will do with those hours. If I plan it then I will also plan how actual builders can rely on my work. This will be causing the stress if I cannot make that plan happen and then I will also put in more hours to still make it happen which means less done at my profession.


Thirdly, if I stop pushing, then the process will be more relaxed in terms of time and this will work much better with my cash flow. I can also make better design decisions and even re-do things when they did not turn out to my liking. Fewer compromises. I sent away the builders who were not holding commitments. And so on… I made this change two days ago and today evening I was having tea with my friend from Mexico in the midst of my half-completed living room. Life is fun :-)



Shapeshifter, Rein

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