Do you know the feeling when you are talking to somebody and you understand that he doesn’t understand you at all? And it is like.. Aaaarrrghh! Do you even listen to what I say?
Well, lately I have been pondering on whether I really listen. During summer I had so many contradictions and arguments with my romantic partner. We tried to solve those and talked and talked and…all we did was just continuing arguments. Then I discovered – I wanted to put him into my own box and that is the reason why I didn’t actually understand what HE really meant. Heh, what a great thing to explore about myself! I have considered myself to be a good listener. :)
Fortunately, the new Accountability Group started in mid-August. This is one of those things that we do here in .Contriber School – you want to develop some skill in yourself and then you choose a task and practice it EVERY DAY for 8 weeks with other schoolmates, supporting each other.
Of course, I want to improve my relationship! So I chose the task “True listening” to develop my skill “Humility and understanding”. True humility is that I acknowledge my gap of knowledge. True humility is when I acknowledge that I am equal to my fellow man – there is no my truth against yours and I can relate to your life experience. I am inspired to learn and widen my awareness. It leads to UNDER-STANDING – standing in awe of Wonder of Life. Beautiful, isn’t it?
Four weeks have passed now with practicing my task. I am still surprised by how rigid I can be. AND there has been growth, too, of course. I have found defenses to let go. I am more curious and accepting. I have discovered I need to FEEL the other person if I truly want to understand him. I am more open to other people’s views of the world. I have discovered new things about myself too.
Yesterday, our night started to heat up. I mean in a good way. I thought – what if I would practice my task now? I truly LISTEN and FEEL my man’s body and his desires. And my own desires as well. Mmmmmhh! Aaaaahhh! What an enjoyable CONNECTION that was!
So… True listening – is the key to better connections and a great sex life. ;)
Bowing down, Liisi
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